Welcome Back
by eloelay
Summary: He hadn’t listened before – there had always been the chance that she would just let it go, and they could escape the confrontation for another while. But now, there was no avoiding it.[Would this qualify as angst?]
1. Chapter 1: Crises

**A/N: This is one of my best yet, I think. If not that, then certainly one of my favorites. I really enjoyed writing this. It's been really salutary for me – it's shown me that I can actually enjoy writing, which I'd forgotten a time ago. At the risk of jinxing it, I think this kicked down a bit of my writer's block. Have fun, and I haven't started on the next chapter yet. If you don't mind, I want to take my time with this one.**

**Welcome Back**

Chapter 1: Crises

Winter was a memory on damp doormats and dewy flowers by the time he'd returned.

He took off his hat and raincoat quietly and slipped into the bedroom as smoothly as he could.

He kicked off his shoes silently and padded to the bed on muffled, socked feet.

He pulled back the covers and slipped inside of them, relieved when he didn't hear the other occupant of the bed stir.

He chanced a small kiss on her pale cheek, only to find it slightly sunken with worry and fatigue.

He'd done it again to her.

He'd worried her, betrayed her, hurt her, and he hadn't stopped, even as he'd known exactly what it was it was doing to her.

With a stifled sigh,Sirius resignedly pulled the covers up to his neck and let sleep claim him.

Ellie's eyes opened partially at a familiar feeling of warmth beside her that hadn't been there when she'd fallen asleep.

So he was back. It had felt like so long this time, though she knew it had only been a small number of months.

He'd been gone for longer, but this time had felt so much worse.

Perhaps it was because of the wintry cold that he had once sheltered her from now blustered through her every time she dared a step outside.

Perhaps it was because Snuffles, their dog, had come down with a cold that sapped the energy from him and now all he did was roam about the house and sleep.

Perhaps it was because Remus had paid a visit, wondering if Sirius was by and if he could talk to him for a moment, that it was rather urgent.

She didn't want to wonder why, because she didn't want to remember how it had felt.

The days had dragged by so slowly, so languidly, each ending punctuated by a pang of a mix of emotions – anger, guilt, jealousy, loneliness, worthlessness, and countless others she didn't like to think of without having to.

But now he was back; the familiar warmth resided next to her, already asleep, so said his rhythmically heaving chest and light snores.

Snuffles slept somewhere in the room, another set of metrical breathing and small snorts.

Hers were the only ones not adding to the lazy symphony of sleeping.

She should get some rest; Merlin knew she was in desperate need of it after the last slow-moving months.

Settling deeper into the mattress and resituating the comforter over her, she tried to let her thoughts go.

Sleep claimed her soon after.

---

"Morning, Sunshine" - Sirius half-expected to hear that in the usual flirty tone that morning, when he woke up and wearily scratched at his eyes.

But he hadn't heard it, a fact that only bothered him for a moment.

Searching around the room, he sought to place himself somewhere recognizable in his mind, and found the place.

His room – his and Ellie's.

The wafting smell of bangers and eggs with fresh-brewed breakfast tea met his nose, which quickly sent a message to his stomach about just what time it was.

Without hesitation, he jumped up to find he had somehow shed his t-shirt in his sleep, and started down the stairs to the kitchen.

Ellie stood, washing the dishes quietly.

Her hair – a healthy, even brown colour – was loose, falling on and around her shoulders in clumsy tousles that were slightly damp.

She had on her usual robe, with yellow socks as opposed to his slippers.

Furtively, he walked up behind her, slipping his arms round her waist and kissing her cheek, which didn't seem that sullen with the gleaming sunlight pouring down on it.

"Morning, sunshine," he murmured into the hale and hearty cheek of his wife.

"Good morning to you too, Sirius," said Ellie in response, not taking her hazel-coloured eyes from the sink and the dirty dishes she still needed to tend to. "Your breakfast is on the table."

Sirius looked down slightly as he released her, and nodded.

He cast a glance at the table, which was set for one with a plate of eggs and sausages and a glass of orange juice.

"You're not eating with me?" asked Sirius curiously.

Ellie turned her face to look at him before saying: "I'm afraid not, Sirius, I have to get ready for work. There's been a bit of a crisis."

She sipped her breakfast tea before turning around, wiping her hands on a dishtowel.

Her lips twisted into a small smile. "I'm sure you can finish it all off without me, though."

Sirius offered a marginal grin in return. "It won't be the same."

She walked over to him, the smile still on her lips. "I have to get ready now, Sirius." She kissed his cheek. "Eat."

With a final soft grin, she walked through the archway and started up the stairs.

Sirius sat down, picking up his fork and knife and began tucking into his breakfast.

Ellie had acted as if it never happened.

She always did, but for some reason, it had bothered him today.

The way she'd conjured up a great morning meal, the way she'd welcomed his embrace as if it'd never been missing, the way she talked to him so casually, not asking where he'd been or why he'd been gone so long.

She was so pretty – he hadn't remembered how pretty she was.

He hadn't remembered much of her at all – the glow of her skin in the mornings, the smart twist of her lips when she spoke, how her feet made little subdued noises when she walked.

Things about her that he'd forgotten were the same reasons he'd fallen in love with her.

If he had ever been in love, if that had been love at all, if he even knew what it was.

He forked a bit of sausage too forcefully and winced as he heard an uncomfortable clang when metal hit porcelain.

Brought out of his thoughts, he could now hear Ellie's footsteps down the stairs.

She wore nice boots and a smart white jacket under her cloak as she stood near the front door.

"Love you, Ellie," said Sirius loudly so he would be heard.

"Love you too," she replied.

She disapparated, leaving him alone in the house.

Sirius sighed slightly.

Snuffles came roving into the kitchen, most likely because he'd smelled the food, and sniffed Sirius amiably.

Sirius scratched the dog's head and messed playfully with his ears to return the greeting. "Hey, boy," he said quietly, "Been a while."

While scratching the dog's ears as he bent over, and, looking the dog straight in the face, saw that the black Labrador's nose was dry, his eyes watery, and his face tired-looking.

"Did you get sick while I was away, Snuffles?" he asked the dog, who only looked at him motionlessly for a moment.

And then did not hesitate to give him a big old "welcome home" lick.

He laughed softly, wiping the slobber from his face, and gave Snuffles a ruffle of his fur.

The dog lay down beside his chair and dozed off.

Sirius smiled, then let out another heave of breath.

Maybe he should give Remus a call, or maybe James, for a chance to see his godson.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Harry, or, for that matter, seen James or Lily or Remus.

He had been growing so distant from things he'd once seen in his life as inescapably close.

But maybe that wasn't for him to concern himself with right now.

"Hello?" asked a feminine voice from the other line.

"Lily? Hey, it's me, Sirius," he spoke into the receiver.

"Sirius? Where have you been? We've all been so worried – Ellie's been sick with anxiety-"

"Well, I'm back now," cut in Sirius jovially.

Sensing his hesitance, Lily continued on his line of thought: "Yes, yes, I suppose you are. Did you want to speak with James?"

"Yeah, I wanted to see if he was up for a go around the park. We could take Harry if you like."

"Actually, he and Remus are off in a pub in Diagon Alley. I would have gone too but I couldn't find a sitter for Harry."

Sirius couldn't keep his interest from showing in his voice. "Do you know which pub?"

"Yeah, the one near the Leaky Cauldron," informed Lily, and then added quickly, "Tell them I'm very mad at them for leaving me behind."

Sirius let out a small laugh. "I will, Lily. Bye."

Before she could say goodbye as well, he hung up and grabbed his jacket.

---

He apparated to the main street of Diagon Alley, noting that the old Leaky Cauldron stood at a slight slant as he walked by.

Continuing on his way down, he spotted the pub Lily had been talking of.

Its iron wrought sign waved in the slight breeze.

The Griffin's Gorge was rather desolate excluding a number of shady-looking, solitary wizards and witches littering every other table.

He had no trouble spotting his two friends, who sat in a corner table, talking quietly.

Sirius waved at them, and, with a rather surprised look on their faces, motioned him towards them.

"Hey, Prongs, Moony," greeted Sirius cheerfully, pulling a chair to their table and taking a seat.

"Padfoot, where've you been? Ellie's been-" James and Remus started at the same time.

Sirius finished for them. "Yeah, I know, I know, 'been worried sick.' But she's fine now."

He turned to peruse each of his friend's faces before whispering conspiratorially, "So…what's up?"

Remus cleared his throat. "We're not quite sure we should be telling you this."

"Why not?" Sirius started, indignant already.

James put a hand to his friend's shoulder to calm him down. "Because we can't risk you going off again. We can handle this, we don't need your help yet."

Sirius narrowed his eyes, looking like an angry child. "What's so wrong that you guys won't tell me?"

Remus took a deep breath. "Okay, we'll tell you. It's a problem with the Ministry, a big problem."

Sirius raised his eyebrows and frowned, saying definitively: "Just tell me."

Looking back, it would have been better if he hadn't gone to the Griffin's Gorge at all.

---

Ellie stared patiently at the witch waving papers, littered with colourful paper clips and post-its and the like, in dangerous range of her face.

Honestly, her attention was divided and the majority of it was not on the current threat of paper cuts the size of galleons on her face.

Sirius had come back, and his easiness this morning as well as hers had done little to smooth out the questions in her mind.

Why had he come back so late?

Where had he been this time?

Why didn't he love her anymore?

So many questions with answers she feared she might learn if she asked.

So she hadn't asked.

It felt so much better to pretend like he hadn't left, like he hadn't kept from her where or how long he was going to be, like he hadn't opened up an old wound when he kissed her cheek before he fell asleep.

But there was also that emptiness when she ignored it, that ignored little pang of insincerity that told her she could ask instead of filling in the blanks herself, that he could tell her all the answers, the right ones, and she'd feel better.

Ellie was hit briefly with a projectile paper clip on the forehead.

"Oh dear, I'm sorry," apologized the previously vehement witch with a gentle look.

Ellie rubbed the offended temple, wearing a weak smile.

"It's fine," she said while trying to sound light-hearted, "I didn't even feel it."

How did such a standard comment turn into a representation of her in all other aspects so quickly?

She placed her palm on her head and gave the witch a sweet, albeit tired look.

"Aggie, I'll take care of it. Just leave the papers on the desk and I'll tackle them first chance I get."

Agatha nodded, not spotting the exhaustion the younger witch evinced, and walked away to her own desk.

Ellie heaved a mighty sigh and got back to her paperwork dejectedly.

"Ellie," called another witch.

Bracing herself for another nicely sized stack of work, she looked up to meet the gaze of the person standing in front of her desk.

"Yes?" she replied expectantly.

"Ellie, about the problem I told you of yesterday-" started the witch, who looked rather nervous suddenly.

"Yes?"

"Well, it just got worse."

"Oh no," muttered Ellie, who got up and started in the direction of the lift.

She pressed the button for the first floor while massaging her temples and fighting off the need to stomp on the floor and scream for the world to stop for a moment for her to collect her thoughts.

"_Level 4: Spell Damage," _said the automated voice in the lift as the doors dinged and opened.

In a businesslike gait, Ellie started for the door to the Janus Thickey ward, where she found a wizard on one of the beds, striking odd poses and letting loose small screams.

Two trainee-healers were on either side of him, trying to calm him down.

Ellie marched up to the scene and asked sharply: "Where is the Healer-in-Charge?"

They traded looks and stared at her.

They shook their heads in tandem.

"We don't know; Healer Strout didn't come in today. And then they carted in this guy, and we weren't sure what to do. Apparently, none of the Healers-in-Charge on this floor showed up for work today."

"Why not?" Ellie asked, more to herself than the two floundering trainee-healers.

"We don't know – nobody seems to. We've heard mentions of the Ministry having something to do with it."

"The Ministry?" thought Ellie, "What do they have to do with St. Mungo's?"

She shook her head of the thoughts; she'd concern herself with them later.

"What's happened to him?"

The trainee-healers once again exchanged glances.

"We think it was one of the Unforgivable Curses."

"The Imperious Curse…" she trailed, and then snapped her head up to meet the questioning faces of the two interns, who, at the sight of the expression she gave them, snapped to attention.

"You, give him a sleeping draught, if that doesn't work, get Janice to mix some ginger roots and nettles for him, and you, come with me. I need to know all you've heard so far."

---

**Chapter 2: Secrets We Keep**

**A/N: I hope you all liked the first chapter. This was lots of fun to write, and it just kept flowing. I know that it's kind of short but if I gave anymore away in this chapter then the next one would be shorter, so I decided to divvy up the info so that some of it comes out in the next chapter.**

**Review, please!**


	2. Chapter 2: Secrets We Keep

A/N: The Ministry chapter has been kicked back a bit, considering I need to explain why and what they're to do there more, from both sides (Ellie and Sirius) and there are a few things that need to be clearer about Ellie and her background before we really get into everything. So yah, meet filler chapter. Thanks for the reviews : D!

And I've discovered the soundtrack to this song – not so much the lyrics but the music behind it. This fic Brighter than Sunshine by Aqualung; I recommend you buy/download that song. It is beautiful.

---

**Welcome Back**

**Chapter 2: Secrets We Keep**

Ellie sighed, glad to be home.

It had certainly been a rough day – she'd had to eventually talk the trainees through a healing when the visitor had woken up, and it had been tricky, but the results were commendable, and afterwards, she'd talked to the patient to coax any information she could from him.

She was rewarded with very little knowledge and quite a few questions concerning visitors.

After an hour, she was waiting on him hand and foot (she did what she had to to get him to talk) and still in the dark about the Ministry's relation to all of it.

Ellie had grown so annoyed by his rudeness and self-importance that eventually she began to see the pile of paperwork as the lesser of two evils.

Getting through the paperwork with Aggie checking in every few minutes was only just tolerable, but she'd gotten through with thoughts of Sirius.

Notions she usually fought away were welcomed with open arms to distract her, and at one point she decided she couldn't stay silent much longer without knowing.

She had decided to ask him everything.

Snuffles came to greet her lazily, rubbing his nose on the back of her knee.

She squat down and smiled.

"If no one else, you've always loved me, haven't you, Snuffles?" implored Ellie, scratching the dog's ears.

He only stared at her droopily, and gave her a lick on the face, a small, comforting lick.

Ellie looked around and stepped into the kitchen, seeing the cleared plate and empty glass on the table.

She smiled a secret little smile to herself as she collected them into her hands and began to wash them in the sink.

No matter how long he was gone, once he got back he settled in right away, leaving his clothes on the floor, his shoes in the doorway, the lights on behind him.

A walking mess he was, but perhaps it was part of his charm.

Faintly she could hear the shower going in the upstairs bathroom, the sound of artificially pouring water rivaling the natural rain outside.

Today had started out sunny – or as sunny as England gets – but there was always the promise of rain in Britain's clouds, always dancing, gray, along the horizon undecidedly.

She remembered times when she'd find Sirius in the shower and join him – not always for lewd intents, sometimes purely to save money on the water bill they could barely scrape up enough money to pay for.

But that was back when they were poorer and younger and before…just, back then.

She banished the thoughts, frustrated, glaring for a moment at the majority of the dishes still unwashed.

In her haste this morning she'd left it almost half-full of dirty silverware and plates, and the newly added ones didn't help matters at all.

Deciding to procrastinate, Ellie heaved another sigh and fell on the couch in the living room, bumping her ankle on the coffee table as she did.

"Ow," she muttered under her breath, nursing her offended ankle.  
"You know that always happens to you," Sirius muttered, an amused sort of twinkle in his tone.

She glared up at him half-heartedly from where her head lay, reclined on the arm of the sofa.

Sirius was clothed in a towel and little else, she assumed, with the way he stood.

Sirius had always had a specific pose for when he was scantily clad – which Ellie had once complained was not often enough – with one leg sort of bent and the other straight so he looked like a pirate.

The sight was enough to cause her to forget her troubles and just enjoy like any self-respecting pervert would, and if nothing else, that described Ellie pretty fairly.

"Yeah, I know," she muttered dreamily, covering her face with a pillow as she was yanked from her reverie by Sirius wagging his head like a dog, sending projectiles of water everywhere.

She then looked over the back of the couch and stared at Sirius's feet, whose toes scrunched and relaxed under the attention as if it would distract her from the fact that they were half-submerged in a puddle of shower water.

"You're dripping."

Sirius scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, I know."

He laughed, slightly nervous.

"Then get off the damn carpet," said Ellie, flopping back down to lean her head against the arm of the sofa.

"Fine, fine," Sirius grumbled petulantly, then took large steps to get to the open frame separating the living room and foyer.

He stood just shy of the carpeting.

"Ellie?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for breakfast this morning," he said.

"No problem, Siri," said Ellie quietly.

He stared at her.

She stared at him.

"I-"

"You should get dressed now, Sirius," she cut him off in as kind a voice as she could manage with the emotion already starting up in her eyes.

She'd seen the look in his eyes – the one of sorrow, pity, regret, sadness, frustration.

She'd seen it before; if it were up to her, she'd never see it again.

He had been about to apologize, admit all that he'd done, and half-smile up at her to forgive him.

It was what he always did; it was some kind of confessional, a rite so he'd be able to leave again.

"I think that's been the first time you've ever said for me to put my clothes on," said Sirius amusedly, cleaning his ear with the towel round his shoulders.

She smiled a little bit.

"Go," she urged, blowing him a half-hearted kiss.

"Alrightey, alrightey, I'm going." Sirius began to waddle away, trying not to drip.

"Sirius," she called, half-surprised that she'd said it out loud.

"Yeah, Ellie?" His head popped up from the corner of the wide door-less frame.

"Erm…nothing, nevermind."

She'd been so ready to tell him of the problems today; of the small bits and pieces she knew of the Wizarding world's newest threats, hoping he'd be able to fill in what she didn't have.

She'd been so ready, but she couldn't.

She didn't want to open up yet, act like it never happened, and welcome him back with open arms and a hidden, heavy heart.

She didn't want to let go yet.

She wasn't ready to let go yet.

---

"Towels, towels, towels," Sirius muttered, searching the utility closet for a towel to dry himself with at Ellie's request.

Sirius grabbed a towel hidden behind bed sheets, starting to dry his hair as he leaned against the wall.

Ellie.

She was pretty again; that special kind of pretty.

It wasn't sexual; it was soft, gentle, warm.

She felt like home.

Snuffles, this house, being back in that old shower which knobs were mixed, so the cold was actually hot and the hot was actually cold – it all felt like home.

And he was glad to be back.

Walking while dragging his feet, he walked into his bedroom.

The bed was unmade as he'd left it, his clothes were still on the floor, and Snuffles was snoring in the corner of the room, beside the door that led to the bathroom.

The big black Labrador was always near either him or Ellie, as if he thought to protect them.

Thinking back to what he, Remus, and James had spoken of, he wasn't so sure this four-year-old baby could succeed in that.

"…_A monster, he is. He leads a sort of spy network, rumor has it they've even penetrated the Ministry. No one is safe…"_

He should have told Ellie; he should have given her a hint that he might be away again, for a while again.

He could convince himself that it was because he didn't have a chance.

He should have told her, but he wouldn't have - given the chance or not.

Sirius shook his head.

Quietly, he approached Snuffles and scratched his ears.

The dog woke indolently and gave him a stare.

"Hey, Snuffles," said Sirius softly, "You're a good dog."

Recognizing the phrase, Snuffles nudged at his owner's hand.

"The rain's stopped, maybe a walk would do you good."

He ruffled his fur affectionately as he hooked the leash on downstairs.

"Ellie?"

"Yeah?" Ellie's voice held a distinctly lazy tone to it.

He heard the couch move under her as she stretched.

"I'm going to take Snuffles for a walk; that okay?"

"Sure, but if it starts to rain, take him back inside quickly. I don't want him sicker than he is already! It's bad enough he's now as lazy as we are."

Sirius nodded, half-smiling.

"I'll be back in two hours or so, alright?"

"Uh-huh," Ellie replied, getting up and moving to the kitchen to tackle the remaining dishes.

Snuffles barked excitedly.

"Alrightey, buddy, here goes. Bye, Ellie!"

Ellie turned on the water quietly, shaking a little.

Her window of opportunity had just opened.

---

Henry Lehmicke sat very quietly, perusing a psychology journal in his large armchair, surrounded by tomes in bookcases adorning every wall.

"The butler said your name was no longer Elisa Lehmicke."

She was slightly startled, as his eyes hadn't moved from his book.

"That's true," she muttered quietly.

She never seemed to have much nerve when around her brother.

There was heaviness in the air that seemed to be weighing down on her shoulders.

"It's Black," she finally blurted out softly, "Elisa Black. People don't even call me Elisa anymore; it's just Ellie."

"Black as in…Sirius?" pursued Henry.

Ellie nodded.

"You _married_ him?" he shouted in outrage.

She nodded again.

She didn't feel the urge to part her lips and explain; it would only make him angrier.

"You've rid yourself of the noble Lehmicke name to marry a…a…traitor!"

There was a lapse in his speech; his German accent was becoming slightly more noticeable.

Ellie looked to the floor steadily, biting her tongue.

He'd be no good to her if she got him too angry.

"Have you any children with the ingrate?"

"N-No," she said shakily.

"Well, at least you haven't ruined yourself completely," he said, roughly tossing his journal aside on the table flanking his chair. "Why did you come here?"

His eyes, hazel like hers, bore holes into her harshly, and it was all she could do not to turn from her brother.

His hair was still very blonde, just like the typical Slytherin graduate and properly bred German he was.

Ellie remembered when her hair had been that blonde; it had darkened since she'd gotten to Hogwarts, and she'd never seen to alter it again.

She didn't want to answer the question.

There really wasn't a delicate way to put it; she needed his help, and asking for it was a harder task to go about than she had remembered.

"I-I…" she bit her lower lip in frustration. "I need your help, Henry."

---

**A/N:** Hey, guys. It's me again, with the next installment of Welcome Back. Yeah, it's not a brilliant chapter, and it's not my favorite chapter, but I like it. It gives you a little more insight into what's going down. Well, I updated earlier than I thought I would.

**Huge thanks to "Moi" for all of the wonderful corrections and quite possibly the best review I have ever received; I fixed the errors and a few others I noticed. You are now my favorite person EVAH!**

The next chapter is actually ((all those with unstable coronary diseases please brace yourselves: absolute shocker)) already almost done! That's right, people! I've actually had a chapter in the works before I uploaded this! I hope no one died just then.

And don't think that the reason why Sirius has been gone so often has already been revealed - trust me, he's got more up his sleeve.

Henry's not terribly big in the story, but there's a reason for him. A big reason. Well, you'll just have to wait til the next part, hm…


	3. Chapter 3: What It All Boils Down To

A/N: Yeah, here ya go.

**Welcome Back**

**Chapter 3: What It All Boils Down To**

Steady hands gripped Snuffles' leash, folded up and unattached, as Sirius looked distantly at the gray London scenery, the cafes and stores that splayed out just beyond the wrought fences of the park.

Snuffles, free of the restraint, was further ahead, playing with another dog as if he'd never been sick.

He'd been awful friendly with the females in the park, and he'd hopped and trotted about, urging a very distracted Sirius to play.

Finally, he'd relieved him of his leash and he'd been playing with the German Shepard since.

Harry cooed, asleep in Lily's arms.

"What's wrong?" James asked, shooting a concerned glance at his best friend.

Sirius's head shot up with a start.

"Hm?"

Play innocent, Sirius figured.

"What's wrong, Padfoot?"

He let his eyes stray ahead. "Nothing's wrong, James."

Lily raised her brows skeptically. "Fess up, Sirius; we can read you better than you know."

Sirius looked at his friends.

Lily, hair still very red and eyes very green, held a snoring Harry.

Beside her, James held her hand, hazel eyes pursuing Sirius's curiously, and with no hidden amount of concern.

They deserved to know what was on his mind, but he wasn't sure they would like it.

"I…"

He tried, but he wasn't able to get it out.

It was hard to say '_I'm thinking of leaving again' _without earning him a set of glares too furious for him to take just yet.

Maybe lying would be better – smoother, more believable…at least easier.

"It's that wizard."

Lily gave him a dubious look, but she nodded. "The new threat?"

Sirius nodded, and then noticed the stirring in the redhead's arms.

Harry began to wake, blinking his large green eyes indolently, and yawning cutely.

"Hey there, kiddo," said Sirius, playfully waving a finger near his face.

Harry reached for it and clasped it in his hand.

"Hm." Lily still seemed not to believe him; she'd always had a certain sixth sense about these things.

"Well, he's not rearing his ugly head just yet." James, however, was oblivious, and Sirius loved him for it. "It's not like you to worry so ahead of time, Sirius."

"Yeah, I know." But then, he hadn't really been feeling like himself lately.

---

"Elisa, there's no reason to worry; the Ministry is as strong as ever."

Henry stood in the midst of all the chaos the room of record keeping had become, looking completely unconvinced.

Ellie must have looked more skeptical than she thought she had.

Henry shot her a dirty look.

"You haven't got any proof to say otherwise, so watch your step, little sister."

She bit her lip petulantly, continuing to glance at this note and that form in hopes of piecing together more information.

"Do you know any relations they'd had recently with St. Mungo's?"

"No, not that I know of…" Henry shuffled through the files. "This is the only thing that really applies at all."

He passed her a file, labeled "St. Mungo's Project".

She opened it, flipping through the papers inside.

"No, it's just a bunch of forms for the Healers-in-Charge, and some trainees…"

"Well, if there were really a secret operation going on in the Ministry, do you honestly think they would keep files on it?"

She stifled a harsh comment, forcing herself to smile a little.

"No, but if there were any interaction between St. Mungo's and the Ministry, there might be clues that could give me more information on what's going on here."

"Why are you so curious, anyway?" asked Henry interestedly, lighting up a cigarette.

Her hands stilled on the papers, and her eyes found the floor.

"I don't know."

"Has it anything to do with that dog you've married?"

Honestly, she didn't know.

It was possible that she's seen all of this conspiracy, these secrets, and linked them all to Sirius's work.

As an Auror, a member of the Order of the Phoenix, and a friend of Dumbledore, the headmaster of Hogwarts, Sirius seemed to be linked to every association against conspiracies, against threats to society, against evil.

Perhaps she'd sought to grab his attention.

Juvenile though it was, Ellie wouldn't have to stretch too far to fit the bill.

"No," she lied, and shook her head.

Henry seemed to be satisfied, though, and continued to peruse the papers.

The clock chimed loudly, jolting them both out of their investigations.

"That's the bell for the conferences; you'll have to go now."

Ellie looked up. "What? Why?"

"Elisa, you must leave. Now."

Holding back a skeptical glare at her brother, she picked up her bag and started towards the door.

While she held the doorknob, debating whether or not to take no for an answer, Henry spoke.

"Elisa."

She turned. "Yes, Henry?"

"You…you can come back tomorrow, and we'll see if we find anything then."

Ellie smiled softly at her brother.

"Thank you, Henry."

Henry nodded, and his eyes, once slightly softer than Ellie had seen in years, hardened again.

"Now go, we don't want you caught."

"Right."

She tried not to sneeze when he blew out smoke and gave her a crooked smile, cigarette still in his teeth.

She opened the door and continued to walk through, finding a safe spot away from the quickly apparating Ministry officials, and disapparated.

---

"You two should go out."

It sounded very little like a question, and more like a friendly command.

He couldn't blame them - they deserved a night out.

They hadn't left the house, it seemed, since Harry had been born almost thirteen months ago.

"Really, just go on, and have fun. Merlin knows you need it."

Lily gave him a grin and nodded. "Alright then, I'll be back in a moment."

They standing in front of Godric's Hollow, and James had just passed a sleeping Harry over to his godfather.

Lily was gone for a moment before she appeared again, standing on the steps with a baby bag in hand and a blanket in the other.

"Now, what are the rules?" pursued Lily, stuffing the blanket into the bag.

Sirius fought a smile as James chuckled behind Lily. "No unsupervised feeding, changing, or burping."

"Right," the redhead said smilingly, handing him the bag.

He pulled the strap over his shoulder with a little difficulty, because he was trying not to wake Harry.

"Have fun, kids," said Sirius jokingly.

Snuffles set the pace ahead of him, mood only slightly dampened after having been leashed again.

"Sirius?"

He turned to see James approaching him, looking concerned.

"Don't worry about him too much," he said, "The wizard, I mean."

Sirius nodded.

"But about Harry - you're sure Ellie'll be okay? You know, after-"

"Yeah, she'll be fine," finished Sirius quickly. "Not to worry."

"Listen, I know there's something going on between you two, but I won't butt in. Just…be careful," cautioned James quietly, "She's been through a lot."

"I know."

Sirius gave him a little smile.

People honestly gave James too little credit – he really caught onto more than they think.

---

Ellie came home to the smell of talcum powder and boiling formula.

She walked further into the room to find Harry perched on Sirius's back as they watched a Monty Python film.

"I'm not sure that's appropriate for a one year old child – or a twenty-two year old man."

Sirius craned his head to look at her walking over to him and Harry.

She picked him up so that Sirius could sit up and bounced him up and down on her lap when she sat.

"Why's Harry here?"

"Lily and James are going out tonight. Where've you been?"

"Nowhere special."

Sirius took a large bite out of a chocolate bar he'd been sharing with Harry.

Ellie sat down on the couch, balancing a giggling baby on her knee.

She made funny faces at him, sending him into fits of laugher.

"You smell like smoke."

Ellie's eyes shot up mid-expression. "What?"

"You've been smoking again?" Sirius didn't seem too fazed; he was paying attention to the movie, in which a French man in a fortress was saying that he'd waved his privates at some aunties.

Desperate for an excuse, she nodded. "Yeah."

"Smoking is bad for you, you know. We went over this after I stopped. It's not healthy."

"It's not your business, Sirius. You can't leave and pretend like you care all of a sudden."

She was sorry for having said it, but more so, she was sorry for how wonderful it had felt to finally do so.

"Sirius, I'm so-"

"No, it's fine, Elisa."

Harry stared from one to the other.

Sirius got to his feet. "No."

Startled, Ellie looked up at him.

"No, it's not fine. You're screwing with my head here, Elisa! I have no idea what's going on with you! One minute, you're okay, and acting as if it never happened, and the next you're in a bad way about it! I just don't get it!"

"I just lost my head for a second there. I didn't mean it. Really."

"Yes you did! That's just it! Ellie, I know you better than you think – you can't lie to me as easily as you once could!"

"Lies? Lies! I'll show you lies! I wasn't smoking again - I was with Henry! If you knew me so well you would know that I haven't smoked since we lost-"

Ellie felt herself quickly winding down, the sudden loss of momentum rendering her helpless to finish her sentence.

Harry had started crying.

She pulled him to her and started to rock him gently, hoping to calm him down.

"You were with Henry?"

"Yes, Henry."

"He knows we're-"

"Yes."

Sirius fell back onto the armchair. "Why did you go to see him?"  
"No reason."

He didn't push any further, despite his curiosity.

When it came to her brother, it was best to let things lie as they were.

A firm silence fell between them, in which little Harry's crying subsided some.

"Why do you leave so often?"

"What?"

"Why do you leave?"

Sirius bit his lip.

This conversation had been waiting patiently to happen for years.

There were certain things that had slipped over the years, small things letting on about how much it bothered her, how guilty she felt for it, how much she wanted it to stop.

But he hadn't listened then – there had always been the chance that she would just let it go, and they could escape the confrontation for another while.

But now, there was no avoiding it.

"I don't know."

He wasn't sure whether it was true or not.

If it were up to him, he wouldn't have had to decide.

He felt his anger rise in his chest – she'd ruined it all.

"Why do you have to ask things like that? Why can't you just take things as they are! Why are you bringing this up now? We could have just kept quiet and let it all go as it was. Then everything would have been just fine."

He was shouting, and Harry was crying again, and Ellie wasn't doing anything at all.

She just sat there, quietly cradling Harry to her chest.

"No, everything would not have been just fine! It all would have been false, fake, just all lies! You can't expect me to forgive and forget every time you come back round, smiling at me and hugging me! And all without my knowing where you've gone to, why you've gone, and why so long! It's not fair to me, Sirius! It's not fair!"

Ellie was frowning at the floor, eyes trained on the carpet as if they couldn't bear to look at him.

"I never told you because I thought it would hurt you."

"Hurt me? _Hurt_ me! The only thing that hurts me is what my imagination fills in! Whatever your reasons are couldn't in any way be worse than what I come up with!"

"But you don't get it! Dumbledore told me not to say anything!"

"I'm your _wife, _Sirius! Even if more in title than in practice, and there are certain people – including _wives_ - that merit a little note of at least how long you'd be gone!"

"Dumbledore said it would be too dangerous, that especially with your brother's job, no one should know what-"

"Stop it, Sirius."

No longer was her stare on the floor - she was staring solidly at him, eyes slightly glassy.

"Please, stop it. By no stretch of the imagination am I a saint - I don't take this kind of torture quietly forever, Sirius."

"But Ellie-"

"And I know that you don't stay loyal, and that's fine by me. A man like you cannot settle down, and no matter what I convinced myself while standing on that altar with you those years ago, I can't help you with that, I can't change that."

"Ellie, it's not like that-"

"The reality of it all is, that I let you get away with it all. So it's my fault, and not yours, Sirius! Never yours! After all, being the terrible woman that I am, I let you go off without a word and then I welcome you back home like it never happened, without even a word of reprimand or a guilt trip. So in more ways than one it's my fault that you leave, isn't it? It's my fault that you're always gone."

"Please, just stop this-"

"And I wonder sometimes why you leave. I feel like it's my fault, and for all I know, it very well might have been."

"Stop this now, Ellie, you're only going to-"

"And I wonder if things would have been different if Amie weren't dead!"

Silence.

Amie…their daughter – or at least, she once had been.

"It still bothers me…it's my fault…"

Ellie's tears had finally begun to fall.

Sirius walked over to her and slipped his arms around her.

"Amie's gone, but it's not your fault, Ellie. Shh, it's not your fault."

"She had that little blue backpack, but she wanted the pink one, and I told her I'd get them. She never got that stupid damn backpack…"

She choked and buried her face deeper into Sirius's chest.

"Shh," he soothed, "It's okay, it's okay."

"It shouldn't have happened…"

"No, it shouldn't have."

"I hate him. I hate him so much."

"I hate him too. But we have to forgive him, we have to let go. It's all in the past now."

"…I miss her so much."

"I know, I miss her too."

---

A/N: Sorry it took so long. It's not spectacular, but its here. So review please!

This might be my last update for a bit because I have freshman orientation on Thursday, and then I start school on Monday of next week.

Hopefully I'll be able to make enough time to keep up with all of my stories. But just to let you know, updates will be slower (yes, even slower) from now on. But do expect another Of Fame and Family chapter up sometime soon, as promised.


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